If You Think People Care About You Think Again
Many of my patients feel bad for worrying and so much about what others think of them. They believe that this makes them a weak person. But the reality is that at that place are good reasons for caring what others think.
To begin with, people are social by nature. Being aware of others' reactions provides you with information about the country of your relationships. You know if y'all have offended, or endeared yourself, to people. Caring nigh those connections inherently involves caring about what those people call up. You lot may be willing to take upsetting someone important to you, but you volition ultimately want to reconcile or transcend a particular problem. And so, caring about what they remember can assist you navigate and maintain valued relationships.
Fifty-fifty the most independent person is significantly afflicted by others' reactions to them. This begins early in life, as people larn who they are through the eyes of others. Children don't come up into this world with a fully formed sense of themselves and other people, but rather develop this as their experiences in the world accrue. They learn to see themselves as they perceive that significant others (such as their parents) see them.
People who develop a negative self-image may need frequent reassurance that they are okay people. Others with a more positive self-image may only need assurance during difficult times that trigger them to doubt themselves. Then in that location are the fortunate people who have an uncanny ability to feel self-assured in even the about difficult circumstances. They can reach inside for their reassurance – but even this is usually based on early experiences in the world that gave them a solid sense of themselves. Just it's of import to note that even these people care about what others think of them; they just don't let it dominate their self-perceptions.
The existent trouble with caring what others recollect of yous comes when y'all are more concerned with their reactions than your own cocky-assessment; or even worse, yous don't know what you think because you are so eager to delight others. In whatsoever given state of affairs, it'due south important for you lot to know your ain mind. If you don't, then it's important to begin spending some time reflecting on your experiences, thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs.
Another manner to think virtually whether what others think "should" matter is to consider the alternative. What if you didn't intendance about what other people thought of y'all? What if you did whatever you wanted regardless of how information technology afflicted others? Your friends would probably feel like you don't intendance about them. You may also have trouble at piece of work, especially if your job involves interacting with people. Whether you are a waitress, banker, or teacher, your work would probably suffer.
The ultimate truth is that is absolutely okay – even beneficial – to be enlightened of and care about others' reactions to you … so long as y'all don't lose sight of yourself. But if y'all recall you practice place as well much value trying to please others, and then it's time to turn the focus on strengthening your sense of cocky.
Entries for the Relationships blog are for general educational purposes only. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation; and they should not exist relied upon equally a substitute for private professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, delight seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental wellness professional.
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Source: https://blogs.webmd.com/relationships/20170322/should-you-care-about-what-others-think-of-you
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